It feels as if it's been ages since I’ve made another X rated entry into my beloved sex column and in fact, it has been. At least that’s what a few months can feel like. I’ve been going through this dilemma in my head on whether or not I should continue the column. I just recently turned 23 and so many things in my life have drastically changed...just wait till y’all find out haha! But with all those changes, I’ve just been wondering if I should continue or not. While pondering that, I thought about a topic I still haven’t covered yet and I figured may as well get it out my system for my sex fiend readers haha! So with that, I introduce you to my experiences with the sometimes beloved, always awkward: shower sex.
I’ve had so many funny ass experiences when it comes to shower sex, the first most definitely being the most awkward. I say that because not only was I a newbie at sex and the guy’s dick game notoriously wack, (I’m sure y’all remember him...the guy whose dick was so small that he always had us doing the most random shit in the bedroom to “compensate” for it. Yea...him.) but because of the fact that my headass somehow FAINTED in the shower lmaoo!! If you know me, you’ll know that I tend to faint from time to time (aka when I get either a. too hot or b. too high). Well at this point in my life, that had never happened before but I knew it was hot as fuckkk and way too steamy in there but I didn’t want to be that square ass girl that can’t hang for a little shower action. I should’ve just been that square ass girl lmao. The next thing I know, I’m passed out on the damn floor with this headass naked ass dude hovering over trying to pick my big ass up haha!
Having sex in the shower isn’t a very foreign concept, even for our less experienced sex lovers. You are however, considered pretty lucky if you find someone who can actually make the whole experience ENJOYABLE. I know I’m not the only one who went into the situation thinking it was gonna be like how it is in the movies when in reality there’s simply wayy too much water in your eyes, your back hurts from bending over, the nigga is too weak to pick you up and so many other stupid factors that Pornhub forgot to include. After a couple more negative experiences I was sorely convinced that this shit was for the birds. I was so damn tired of slipping from the soapy ass shower floor, our heights never being compatible so I had to be on the tips of my toes the entire time, or simply not having the energy to go through another lackluster sex session when I could just do what I needed to by my lonesome in the shower haha!
Just when all hope was lost, I had the bright idea to try this shit out just one more time and my golden rapper was my lucky victim. I swore I told this nigga for months that I wanted to take a shower with him, but for some reason it never happened. Finally the day had come, I don’t know what finally made him do it (maybe it was the idea of my soapy ass bouncing in the water) but he said let’s do it!
I’m geeked y’all because as you can recall from previous articles, this man knows what the fuck he’s doing! We’ve probably had sex over 100 times now and each & every time is amazing. So anyways, we get in the shower and I’m feeling hella optimistic and rightfully so. Y’alllllllllll. I don’t know what it was about this experience or this man that made it so fuckin good but it was damn near euphoric. In the past, whenever I had sex in the shower, whatever slip there was to keep everything going the water would wash it right away. And if you know anything about anything, you’ll know that water is NOT a good form of lube lmao! Well this time, something was different (possibly the fact this nigga is sexy as hell and I’m sure damn near any pussy could stay wet for him) but also the fact that this time in the shower it seemed as though we had an unlimited supply of lube (his words, not mine) with all the soap or whatever the fuck. Our heights perfectly match so it was nothing to be bent over by him, in fact, I couldn’t get enough of it. Something about feeling the warm water pounding down on my head while he pounded on my pussy was just amazing. Mannnn just thinking about it now, I’m ready for another round haha! I think the best (funniest) part about all of this, was that I was later informed by my sister that she decided to sit outside of the bathroom and listen and then proceed to count how many times she heard my ass clap against his haha! She said she got to 80 before she stopped counting lmaoo! Ahh what a beautiful memory.
In conclusion, I highly encourage y’all sex addicts to go out and give shower sex just one more try because trust me, this shit can actually be amazing. Avoid awkward situations and make sure yo ass doesn’t be like me and start passing out in front of niggas!
Ya favorite returning sex fiend