The Art of Huk Yuk
I went to Instagram yet again, to see what y’all closet freaks need me to go on about this time & of course y’all chose a “how to” on huk yuk lmao. I don’t know if y’all just like reading about it a lot or if y’all really don’t know how to give proper huk yuk but I’m here for it either way. In today’s entry I’m going to go in depth on how to give the best huk yuk of your life so get ready for a really sticky conversation. As y’all know, I’m the goddess of huk yuk, so you won’t have to worry about me steering you wrong. Feel free to send this guide to ya sidechick but it’s not on me if you get cussed out in the process. Now that I think of it, I should probably be charging y’all for these jewels but I haven’t done a charitable service in awhile, so you’re in luck. Get ya notebooks out & get ready for the best advice you’ll ever receive lmao.
So as y’all know huk yuk is just another word for the sloppiest toppy you can think of. Tears running down ya face, slob dripping down ya chin and anywhere else you can think of. Toppy so sloppy that lube is a thing of the past. I’m sure y’all get the picture...and if you don’t I feel extremely bad for you because that means you’ve never given/received huk yuk. As I mentioned in a previous entry, huk yuk should only be given to those who really deserve that shit because it’s just that good.
I’m not necessarily sure how to dive into what is bound to be the nastiest entry yet so I’m just gonna go for it & tell you what I typically do.
When starting out, I always have them lay on their back rather than standing up & me kneeling simply because I always want full control of what’s going on when huk yuk is taking place. Plus, some men tend to run...at least in my case haha! Anyways, once I have him laid down I don’t like to go directly at it. You’re going to be sucking his dick for a long time so you’ll want to take to your time leading up to it. Get on all fours, with your ass either completely away from him or right in his face so you can shake that shit lmao. Kissing and biting are your best friends. Just as much as women love being kissed and bitten all over, men love that shit too. Licking and kissing in his most sensitive areas in his inner thigh is where you should focus on. There’s no need to go at it for too long though, just enough to get him excited.
Now, if I like him enough, I’ll go to work on his balls haha. Start off with just one in your mouth and then move on to both while simultaneously rubbing his dick. You can even get sloppy with this to be honest. This whole thing is a sticky ass situation so you’ll need to be ready for that. He’ll have slob down his ass but he’ll be having too much fun to give a fuck. So once you get your mouth and his balls thoroughly wet, it’s time for the main attraction (or what you’ve been dreading, in some cases lmao): DICK!
I didn’t mention it in this entry, but make sure you don’t eat a whole lot beforehand. You’re going to be deepthroating the fuck outta his dick & I’m pretty sure you don’t want to be like me, accidentally throwing up on niggas. So yea, make sure you don’t eat a 5 course meal beforehand but if you happen to, just make sure you be careful & don’t overdo it. If you’ve followed all my directions so far, your mouth will be pretty damn wet by now so that’s perfect. I’m telling you, there’s no such thing as too much slob. You might feel ugly and disgusting but trust me, your guy is NOT thinking that if he’s anything like the men I’ve dealt with.
I like to start out trying to be cute with a couple sucks on the tip & then I just say fuck it and go all in. *Don’t forget, you need a wet ass, slobby ass mouth* Personally, deepthroating right away is almost always a go-to. It shows him what you can do & what to expect right off the bat. Plus, as I said before, I just enjoy giving huk yuk so I honestly don’t have a problem getting crazy right away haha! The key to knowing you’re doing all of this right is if you hear sounds similar to how the word huk yuk sounds (YES, that’s where the word comes from…you’re catching on), it should definitely NOT be silent. I know that some people feel awkward with so many sounds happening, but try to not even think about it. It’s only going to negatively/weirdly impact things if you let it. At this point, you should pretty much be choking on his dick. Yes, choking. Trust me, he’s going to fuckin loveeee it. You’ll need to make sure you can control your breathing pretty well when doing all this though because you don’t want to ACTUALLY start choking. Breathe through your nose, always, but also take a second & get a couple big breaths during if you need to. I’d rather you do that then be the crazy mf who dies while sucking dick lmaoo! What an awkward obituary that would be, huh?
You can go crazy with it: use your hands, try different shit with your tongue, I even knew a guy who liked when I bit it aha! I’d definitely have a conversation about that prior though because I’m just gonna assume that most guys DON’T like having their dick bit on. I like to try something a little different each time if I can help it, you don’t want sex to be like a routine where y’all always know exactly what’s going to happen next. Change your positioning; eventually you’ll be good enough that you can do this shit no matter how your positioned & it’s going to get beyond interesting. Play around with speed, how fast or slow you go. Faster is not always better and it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re doing it right. Pay attention to how he’s reacting to it, you have to know how to read him & his body enough to know what to do next. Like I said, I’ll have a nigga squirming and more times that not, I’m always doing everything right. If you do what I say, you’ll be gucci.
I can GUARANTEE you that if you actually do everything I suggested your man will be happy as FUCK! GUARANTEED. Not saying he’s gonna up and marry you but you’ll definitely have him in the palm of your hand. Let me know how it goes, I want to hear how things improved! Hit me up on Instagram or leave an anonymous comment below with how things went!
The Queen of the Slob Mob