Letters from a Carefree Black Girl

Letters from a Carefree Black Girl

Okay, so by now I’m sure you’ve watched Insecure and the latest rendition of She’s Gotta Have It, am I right? It’s definitely debatable but these two shows have been some of the best of 2017 for Black TV. Shit not “Black TV”, TV in general. These are some good ass shows. It seems like people are suddenly listening to us and giving us what we (I) have been yearning for. Awkward and authentic Black girls with major roles on screen have been MIA for some time now. Thankfully, Issa Rae and Spike Lee knew what to do. Anyways, this article isn’t a review. It’s a rant.

A few days ago, I came across a viral Facebook post by some guy stating, “Ladies Issa and #NolaDarling ain’t goals! Please don’t play yourself. *insert crying laughing face emoji*”. To which Issa Rae responded back with a simple, “Nigga, fuck that. I’m a goal.”

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As you can guess, this caused hella commotion, with Black women coming to Issa and Nola’s defense, ready to come at this random nigga’s life. I feel like ever since the drama unfolded between #TeamIssa & #TeamLawrence, men and women have been at a bigger divide than usual. My question is, who is this nigga, to tell us as Black women, who we should and shouldn’t look up to? What exactly makes Issa and Nola not a goal? The fact that they have been sexually involved with more than one man on screen? 

My Carefree Black Girl articles aren’t filled with too many facts, moreso opinions. But one fact you must recognize and remember is that women aren’t allowed the same sexual freedom as a man, especially women of color. There’s no questioning it and that Facebook status is just one example of why I believe this to be true. Answer me this men: why can’t women fuck the way men do?! Why are we hoes and thots yet men get praised for doing the same thing? And even when they’re not praised, they still get names like “player” and “fuckboy” which don't hold nearly as much weight as the names we receive. Also, before y'all even try it, YES! I understand Issa and Nola are by no means perfect and they still have a LOT of growing to do. But you must realize that they are learning to live comfortably in their truth, whatever that may be. And isn't that what the end goal is for us all anyway? 

Nola and Issa are so much more than their sex life, which is what so many men and women are failing to realize. They’re critical thinkers, dreamers, doers, caretakers, and revolutionary Black women. Notice how none of those characteristics included sex or a man. Nola and Issa seem to be more than just TV characters. They’re a voice to women kind of like me.

I’m gonna cut shit short so this doesn’t become an essay, but I’ll leave y’all with this: If you’re reading this article, I’m guessing you have similar views to what you read above. If that’s true, I want you to really ponder on the idea of this: would you agree with the man who posted that comment if he was talking about your local dark skinned “hoodrat”? Yes? If that’s true, reevaluate your life because that thinking is just as bad, if not worse. The reason I ask this is because I’ve found this way of thinking way too common, especially among us Black women. I’m not saying you’re a horrible person, because who am I to judge, but I challenge you to challenge yourself. But hey, if you still answered no, you good girl! Keep thrivin’.

 

Words by Maya Clark // @mayaexplains